Kiznaiver? I barely even know ‘er!
Fucking. Nailed it.
The best anime of this season is Archer. Except it isn’t because the new season of Archer fucking sucks.
You’ll remember1 I said before that the Showa rakugo show was probably the best thing last season.
So obviously I didn’t watch it.
I put watching anime off for weeks, then I got a job so I was too busy. Having a job is great, because ｇｒｅａｓｉｎｇ ｔｈｅ ｗｈｅｅｌｓ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｃａｐｉｔａｌｉｓｔ ｍａｃｈｉｎｅ allows me to pay for the one-fourth of Crunchyroll’s catalogue I can access from the UK.2
So here’s my ranking of Japanimation Cartoons this season
- Lost Village
- Joker Game
Hire me Buzzfeed you fucks. I can send you my sample, 27 Mahouka GIFs That Prove Donald Trump Is The Best Man To Be President
⚡️The Lightning Round⚡️
JoJo is basically perfect, so go get your shitty JJBA takes from whichever blogger is shilling over on fucking Hummingbird or whatever.3
Sakamoto is pretty good. Hope it isn’t a one trick pony.
Lost Village is gonna be a trainwreck and I want to be there for the very end.
Luluco was nowhere near as bananas as it should have been. Just make more Inferno Cop instead.
Tonkatsu is uh
I feel like Kiznaiver is what happens when all the fun people at Trigger get locked out of the meeting room while everyone else brainstorms an original anime concept. Too bad they just made Sense8. Sound design was pretty good though.
Joker Game is so drab and lifeless, I almost feel like applauding the production team for taking all the tension out of a show about spies.
New for this season! I’ll be releasing a video game where the monkeys at typewriters who compose my blog posts are kidnapped and our daring protagonist has to save them.
In the end it’s just some fucking ARG to promote Yet Another Stuck In An MMO Anime.
🎵You’ve got stuck in a MMOment / And you can’t get out of it🎵
Shows are getting shorter and shorter. We’re like max twelve months away from Teekyuu season 10 being made to fit in a Vine. Season 11 will be on Snapchat.
Can you fucking believe they’re making a FLCL sequel? I’m gonna drop the fucking PoMo mask I wear for my anime posts for a moment; who the fuck asked for more FLCL? Revisiting it goes against the whole fucking ethos of the show. Don’t ruin legacies by making sequels to shows that didn’t need them. £10 says it never airs anyway, a release date so far in the future is such a red flag.
AnimeMaru was a mistake.
Who’s ready for Summer 2016 and every other tweet on their timeline being about Love Live Sunshine? At least Orange finally got an anime.
If Evangelion was made in 2016, Yuki Kaji would be cast as Shinji.
Spring 2016 sucks except for JoJo. I’m gonna go watch Attack on Trains. Peace out, fuckos.
1. lmao no you won’t because no one reads this shit
2. Ok that’s not fair, they were pretty good at buying UK rights this season
3. remember when we were all gonna jump ship from MAL to Hummingbird? w